Happy Holidays

Hard to believe that December is already here.  I have not written a new blog post in some time.  Actually, I have written over a dozen..but they are not complete…they are just sitting there, unfinished.  (I hate to see DRAFT posts just sitting there…)

At any rate, the stress of the Holidays are here.  And last year I don’t believe we started decorating until maybe the 2nd week of December.  This year, the 1st of December hit….we went out as a family and picked our Christmas tree.  The holidays are about Family and Friends.  Having my kids involved, makes me feel good.    To see the joy, happiness, hope, etc., in their eyes (especially my youngest…) is a great feeling.

I want my boys to understand how to give.   I want them to “want” to give.  Give their time, donate $$…  Understand what and where it goes to.  This year, I hope to participate as a family in as many non-profits events as possible.

Kids Get What They Give

From what I have found online, ninety-four percent of Americans believe “parents play a key role in getting children involved” in charity efforts, according to a new poll, The 2000 Cone/Roper Raising Charitable Children Survey. Yet 70 percent of parents admit their children are not involved in any charitable activities.

In the survey, parents cited time, family commitments, and concern about how their contributions will actually be used as reasons (or excuses?) for not doing more.

There’s lip service, but the pedal still doesn’t hit the metal, so to speak.  The holidays are a chance for families to assess the notion of gratitude as a way of life.

Giving children the chance to give to others – whether by raking leaves for an elderly neighbor, or stocking shelves at a local food pantry – is one of the best ways to build a strong sense of self.

When you ask children or adults, ‘when do you feel best?’ …… the answer almost always is ‘when I give to others.’ If that’s what makes us feel good, why not do more of it?

Six Ways to Get Going on (Guilt-Free!) Giving

1. Get honest. Okay, so your kids have never seen the inside of a homeless shelter, nor donated a single item for a charity toy drive. Talk about it! “You know, we really haven’t made this a priority as a family, and that was a mistake, so now we’re going to.” Done. Now move on…

2. Remember the 2 Gs: gratitude and giving. You can’t have one without the other. They go hand in hand. Giving kids a chance to help others is how they learn to appreciate what they have (and children who appreciate what they have are not only happier people, they are less likely to whine and moan for every last item they see in the mall!)

3. Giving doesn’t begin and end with charity work. My mother would cook pies…(from berries that I would sneak from neighboring farms where my Mother lived in Northern California).  She would give them to neighbors for both Thanksgiving and Christmas.  Believe me, my Mother did not have much…but baking the pies…was her way to give back.  My Father would also give…but helping neighbors work on their cards, or their yard work.  Giving comes in many different ways.

4. Let kids decide how to give. You may think that helping the homeless or contributing to the fight against cancer are the most important ways to make a difference. Your five-year-old may want to donate more money to the zoo so that the lions will have a bigger supper. The type of giving matters less than the opportunity to empower kids, to let them “own” the act of giving.

5. Be concrete. Dropping coins into a collection box can indeed make a difference, but most young children, rooted in concrete thinking, can’t understand where the money goes beyond the pail. Take as many steps into the act of giving as you can. In other words, although it’s easier for you to write a check, it’s easier for kids to “see” what they’re doing when they buy items to donate with you, then deliver them to a food bank, and put them directly on the shelves.

6. Give non-material gifts.Making donations is a wonderful way to give, but children can make a valuable contribution just by spending time talking with an elderly neighbor. Make sure they understand the value of “gifts of time” by asking questions like, Which do you think meant more, the groceries we delivered today or the nice time we had talking with the woman who needed the food? Those follow-up chats are an “emotional bookmark.” By marking the moment and talking about it with kids, he says, “you’re engraving family currency. Your kid’s picture is on the currency. And you’re giving them a chance to spend it, to give themselves away.”

If you are in Bermuda, visit www.volunteer.bm to see volunteer opportunities suitable for families.  Or Google, charities and/or volunteering in the U.S.

On my bucket list is to be able to take my boys to another country…and give to children that don’t have…so they can be involved and see the impact directly of what giving can do.  Example, donating used football boots to children…that play football barefoot, etc..